


If Anything, Think of Me

by thatonedudewiththename



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blowjobs, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, M/M, One Shot, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 09:14:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8973769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatonedudewiththename/pseuds/thatonedudewiththename
Summary: You were lonely and so was IJust a kid with no one to hold ontoAnd a man who couldn't stand the thought of losingI wanted you and you couldn't seeYou wanted me too, didn't you?Well now my heart is strewn across the floorNext to all our clothesAnd your chance to let it all goWill you let me go?Will you think of me if you do?The kid who couldn't stand the thought of losingAnd the man with no one to hold ontoIn everything you do, in all you seeIf anything, think of me





	

**Author's Note:**

> this took me forever and it's so unnecessarily long I honestly could've been working on something that actually mattered but

     12/18/2016  
     8:47am

red vines is typing...  
red vines: hey you up yet?

     8:50am

red vines: jack  
red vines: It's 2pm where u are dude you honestly aren't up yet?

jack russel is typing...  
jack russel: I never went to bed  
jack russel: was up all night working

red vines: Since when did you get a job?

jack russel: you know what I mean asshole

red vines: heh yeah. Did you finish what you were working on?

jack russel: Almost  
jack russel: just need the vocals and then I'll be done

red vines: Right I should probably work on that

jack russel is typing...  
jack russel: You haven't started on them yet??  
jack russel: Vinny!!!!

red vines: I know I know  
red vines: sorry man 

jack russel: :-(

red vines: Dont frowny face me  
red vines is typing...  
red vines: I'll record the vocals today after i get back from class n send them to u

jack russel: :-)

red vines: There we go  
red vines: :^]

jack russel is typing...  
jack russel: have you worked on anything recently?

red vines: not really  
red vines: school has been kinda kicking my ass lately

jack russel: At least you're going on winter break soon!!  
jack russel: that's how it works in America right?

red vines: Yeah  
red vines: aren't you going on break too?

jack russel: I'm technically already on break since there's a snow storm on its way  
jack russel is typing...  
jack russel: One of the drawbacks of living in the middle of nowhere is that there's no snow plows

red vines: Oh yeah I forget that youre not in college  
red vines: how's school going by the way?

jack russel: Eh...

red vines is typing...  
red vines: I feel you man, school hasn't been that great to me either lately :^/ I just want to stay at home and make music and play video games you know?

jack russel: Dude I know  
jack russel: I don't want to graduate, go to college, get a degree ill never use  
jack russel: then get stuck at a dead end job that I have to work 8 hours a day at in order to earn a minimum livable wage

red vines: if we live together it wouldn't be so bad  
red vines: wait

jack russel: :-0

red vines: forget I said that

jack russel: :-O!!  
jack russel: You want to live with me?!?

red vines: do you?

jack russel: I've thought about it  
jack russel: I would  
jack russel: like to  
jack russel: Maybe  
jack russel: if you want

red vines is typing...

jack russel: I know I'm not 18 yet but im already an adult in Ireland  
jack russel is typing...

red vines: what are you in love with me or something?  
red vines: Why does it matter if you're 18?

jack russel is typing...

red vines is typing...

jack russel: nevermind  
jack russel: I just thought

red vines: Thought what?

jack russel: It's nothing.  
jack russel is typing...

red vines: Jack hold on a second

jack russel: I need to do some homework for winter break so I'll talk to you later  
jack russel: be sure to do the vocals okay?

red vines: Jack don't log off  
red vines: fuck  
red vines: Come back man I didn't mean it  
red vines: god damnit

     12/19/2016  
     12:03am

jack russel: hey  
jack russel: Sorry about earlier I was just really tired  
jack russel: I took a nap so I'm fine now  
jack russel: oh you recorded the vocals, thanks dude  
jack russel: I guess you're asleep or busy so ill go and finish the song  
jack russel: I'll link u it when im done :-)  
jack russel: ttyl

     2:33am

red vines is typing...  
red vines: I'm glad you got some sleep, you honestly need to fix ur sleep schedule :^/  
red vines: And I'm sorry about earlier too  
red vines: I shouldnt have joked around like that I kno ur sensitive  
red vines: was just being an asshole  
red vines is typing...  
red vines: I hope my vocals are okay, I'm kind of sick right now so it might not b the best  
red vines: you're probably working so ill fuck off  
red vines: goodnight n good luck :^]

     10:14am

jack russel: oops  
jack russel: fell aslepp on my desk  
jack russel: asleep  
jack russel: Good thing i saved before passing out  
jack russel: my back hurts and I'm really fucking tired... I should probably actually go to bed  
jack russel: my parents are out of town visiting family for the holidays  
jack russel: I was supposed to join them after school but since this blizzard hit i dont think ill b able to so [shrug]  
jack russel: Time to sleep all day lol  
jack russel: I'll upload the song link u then go lay down after i brush my teeth  
jack russel: nighty night!

     10:35am

red vines: Did I just miss you?  
red vines: damn  
red vines: the song sounds great btw  
red vines: I really like what u did with the vocal effects and the synth  
red vines: your drumming is so cool man, I wish I could do that  
red vines: also fix your sleep schedule so we can talk when we're both awake and not through past messages  
red vines: there's only like 3 hours out of the day that we get to talk and im tired of it.  
red vines: like actually  
red vines: I'm always tired when we talk  
red vines: well anyway I'll talk to you later, I got stuff I need to do  
red vines: peace

     4:44pm

red vines: Are you still sleeping?

     4:57pm

red vines: I guess that's a yes  
red vines: Come on seven hours of sleep is enough  
red vines: I'm bored you're my only friend

     5:05pm

red vines: I'm lonely  
red vines: we can play a game together if you want  
red vines: Or we can voice chat  
red vines: We haven't done that in a while

     6:18pm

red vines: :^(

     7:25pm

jack russel: Fuck  
jack russel: I slept longer than I wanted 2  
jack russel: my alarm didnt go off... I was supposed to get up three hours ago  
jack russel: Sorry vinny :-(

red vines is typing...  
red vines: Jesus christ jack how fucking tired were you? You straight up just died  
red vines: I took a nap tho so now we can stay up together

jack russel: Oh you didnt have to do that...

red vines: I was tired anyway

jack russel: Do you still want to voice chat?  
jack russel: We can play a game too if you want

red vines: I'm not in the gaming mood anymore but yeah we can chat

jack russel: sweet!!  
jack russel: I'll get my headphones then ill call you

red vines: sounds good

_jack russel is calling..._

     "God my fockin' earbuds—" Jack hissed under his breath.  
     "Is there a problem?" Vinny laughed.  
     A loud rustling noise on the other end of the line was the only response, followed by a second of silence, then Jack saying in a triumphant tone, "Finally! I got et,"  
     "Got what?"  
     "My headphones were all tangled. How t'e fock do they even get like t'at? I don't do shit wit' 'em!"  
     "I dunno man, maybe they do it just to spite you,"  
     "I don't doubt it," There was the sound of fabric on fabric, then Jack continued, "Anyway, how's yer day been goin'? Do anyt'in' interestin' while I was asleep?"  
     "Eh," _Scratch scratch._ "Not particularly. I mostly just mixed songs, did some impulse shopping on Amazon, finished an essay I've been slacking on, then took a nap. Nothing too exciting,"  
     "Sounds like my day honestly. What'd ye buy?"  
     "A few decals for my laptop, a new hoodie, uhm... Oh, I bought something for you,"  
     "You did?! Vinny!!"  
     The noise of something smacking against a mattress, which Vinny laughed at. "I figure since Christmas is coming up, I might as well get you something,"  
      _"Shit,_ now I gotta get ye somet'in' too!"  
     "Well, if you _want_ to—"  
     "Hold on, what'd ye get me? I got'a know so I know how much t' spend,"  
     "How 'bout I just tell you the price?"  
     Jack made a pouty reverberation. "I s'ppose..."  
     "It was 23 dollars before shipping,"  
     "Vinny! T'at's too much ta spend on me!"  
     "Sean, c'mon. How long have I known you?"  
     "...It'll be six mont's in January,"  
      "If it makes you feel better, I got it on sale," Vinny's tone was less deadpan than usual, which was weird.  
     "A little," After a moment, Jack continued, "Hey, how'dye get me address anyway? Ah don't remember ever givin' it t' ya,"  
     "I didn't get it. I'm getting it first to make sure it's right, then I'll send it to you. So you might as well give it to me now," Sliding of drawers and the rustling of writing utensils sounded out from Vinny's end.  
     "Oh, duh. Ahm," Jack hummed thoughtfully.  
     "What, don't know your own address?" Humor was on the edge of Vinny's voice.  
     "Shut up," Jack laughed. "I was j'st gonna say dat I'll send et on Skype,"  
     "Too lazy to say it out loud I see,"  
     "Fockin' asshole,"  
     Jack's light titter meshed with Vinny's high-pitched giggle, both of their laughs dying down into gentle sighs and pleasant exhales. "Yer laugh is really pretty, have I ever toldya t'at?" Jack said softly.  
     "You haven't," Vinny answered, tone just as quiet.  
     "It is," Jack spoke wistfully after a second-long pause. "I t'ink I could listen to et ferever, if you'd let me,"  
     "Jack," Vinny murmured almost quizzically.  
     No response, not even a sound coming from Jack's end of the line. "Jack—"  
     "I needta go. Sorry Vinny," Jack cut in quickly. "Gimme yer address 'n I'll let ye know when I buy yer gift. Later,"  
     "Fucking _wait—"_

_Call ended_

     7:48pm

red vines is typing...  
red vines: For the love of god jack  
red vines: You dont have to run away every time you say something like that  
[message deleted]  
red vines: what I mean is that  
red vines: It's okay

jack russel: what was the message you deleted?

red vines: nothing  
red vines: Just a typo i was too lazy to fix

jack russel: oh  
jack russel: Vinny  
jack russel: thank you  
jack russel: I'm just  
jack russel: i dont really know how to deal with this

red vines: Deal with what?

jack russel: Forget it

red vines is typing...

jack russel is typing... 

red vines: not to be an asshole but I'm kind of tired of you lying to me 

jack russel: So you know how my parents are out of town and im stuck here alone?  
jack russel: seriously vinny, im not in the mood to talk about it

red vines: When will you be?  
red vines: you know I can't fucking stand secrets

jack russel: I kno  
jack russel: soon

red vines: alright  
red vines: I trust you  
red vines: Now what were you saying about you being home alone? 

jack russel: Right that!  
jack russel: since my parents have no real way of knowing where I am at all times since my grandparents dont have a phone n neither do they, I thought maybe i could go visit you for the holidays!  
jack russel: Just for the few days before Christmas  
jack russel: i have some money saved up that I could use to buy a plane ticket  
jack russel: What do you say?

red vines: I think it sounds great!  
red vines: but  
red vines: Are you sure u shouldn't tell your parents?

jack russel: it'll only be for a few days  
jack russel: They won't even know I'm gone

red vines: I don't know  
red vines: Seems kind of irresponsible and immature

jack russel: I guess you're right  
jack russel: shit  
jack russel: I just wanna see you so fuckin badly

red vines: All in good time :-)  
red vines: You'll graduate soon, and so will I  
red vines: then we'll have all the time in the world to hang out without school and other restrictions

jack russel: I always forget that youre like... Six years older than me  
jack russel: isn't it weird talking to a 17 yr old when ur 23?

red vines: Not really  
red vines: You dont seem like you're 17  
red vines: All the time anyway :^P  
red vines: that and I dont particularly care about age when it comes to that sort of thing  
red vines: it's not like we're fucking or something

jack russel: right  
jack russel: yeah  
jack russel: we're just friends 

red vines: :^]

jack russel: :-)  
jack russel: I'm hungry

red vines: make food

jack russel: what should I have?

red vines: I dunno  
red vines: What do you have in your kitchen?

jack russel: nothing I want

red vines: Well that just sucks doesn't it  
red vines: you have to eat something you haven't eaten for like 12 hours

jack russel: Ur right  
jack russel: :-/  
jack russel: I guess I can have some chicken nuggets and canned veggies  
jack russel: gotta have your veggies or else you get sick

red vines: I dont know what a vegetable is  
red vines: being in college you can't afford the luxury of health  
red vines: I take vitamins instead

jack russel is typing...  
jack russel: when we live together I can make you actual food for dinner after you finish work  
jack russel: then we can both eat, but with each other!

red vines: You're really set on us living together huh?

jack russel: .....  
jack russel: do you... Not want to?

red vines: I think itd be nice yes  
red vines: but it's still kind of iffy to me

jack russel: How do you mean??

red vines is typing...  
red vines: We would need to get jobs first or at least save up money to pay rent n shit while our music starts to earn revenue  
red vines is typing...  
red vines: we would also need to find a way to pay for your college since it costs a shitton of money for a higher education in America  
red vines: unless u get some kind of scholarship, which are impossible to earn unless you're only looking for one or two year's worth  
red vines: Theres just a lot of variables

jack russel is typing...  
jack russel: I can get a job before I move there!!  
jack russel: ive already been looking and I have an interview tomorrow at a records store in town !  
jack russel: I can save up some money for us to use in the meantime!

red vines is typing...

jack russel is typing...  
jack russel: and for college, it's okay, I'm taking some college classes online as well as the ones im already taking so ill have an associates degree by the time I graduate!! I didn't want to tell u bc i wanted it to be a surprise

red vines: Still, I think we should visit each other at least once before we make any concrete plans about moving in

jack russel: I agree!!  
jack russel: that's why I wanted to visit you  
jack russel: My parents hate travelling thats why I wanted to fly out to you without telling them

red vines is typing...

jack russel: That and later on I'll probably have a job so itll be harder to get time off to see you 

red vines: Yeah you're right

jack russel: But if you think I should wait then okay!

red vines: damn you've really thought everything out...  
red vines: do you think about this a lot?

jack russel is typing...  
jack russel is typing...  
jack russel is typing...  
jack russel: not really  
jack russel: I've just been told to plan ahead in the important things :3

red vines: There's something new to learn about you every day isn't there?

jack russel: when we meet there'll be even more!

red vines: very true  
red vines: I have to admit, im kind of excited  
red vines: it's been a while since I've felt like this

jack russel: Really?

red vines: heh, yeah  
red vines: I like that youre the cause of it  
red vines: Makes it seem more genuine 

jack russel: :-D I'm really glad!!  
jack russel: that... makes me really really happy

red vines: :^]  
red vines: you know, it feels like we've known each other forever even though it's only been a few months  
red vines: A lot has changed since we met on that shitty music site but you've been as constant as the ocean waves and twice as calming  
red vines: That's really poetic and corny but I'm a lyricist so what the fuck ever  
red vines: my heart is on my sleeve with you

jack russel: kinda gay but sweet  
jack russel: I feel the same way about you Vinny  
jack russel: I want that eternity u feel between us to last

red vines: that's gay too 

jack russel: :-P

red vines: :^}  
red vines: Ugh  
red vines is typing...  
red vines: my roommate wants me to go with him to a party so I guess this is goodbye for now  
red vines: ill try to be home before morning. I'll let u know  
red vines: See ya

jack russel: oh, ok!  
jack russel: Bye! Have fun

red vines: (^^)v

     12/20/2016  
     12:25am

jack russel: Still offline I see  
jack russel: then I suppose I can get this off my chest  
jack russel: ill delete the messages before I leave for my interview so you'll never see them anyway  
jack russel: but for now  
jack russel: i... think I'm in love with you, vinny  
jack russel: I've had the biggest crush on you for like three months and its starting 2 feel like something more than just a crush  
jack russel is typing...  
jack russel: maybe it's bc I'm a teenager or bc im lonely or that I've never felt anything like this before so I don't gotta point if reference but  
jack russel: of  
jack russel: but it  
jack russel: it really feels like love to me  
jack russel: the kind u cant shake  
jack russel: like it's part of you  
jack russel: I think abt you all the time you kno  
jack russel: the gift I got you just goes to show how much I listen to you and think of you  
jack russel: I bought my plane ticket earlier too  
jack russel: I'll have to walk a couple hours to get to the nearest airport bus but itll be worth it  
jack russel: My flight is at 2 so after my interview I'm coming home, taking a shower, getting dressed, then grabbin my bags n leaving  
jack russel: If everything goes right i should be at the airport by 12:30  
jack russel: if I get there later then that's ok i still have time for everything  
jack russel: I want to kiss you when we meet but I know thatll never happen  
jack russel: im just a 17 yr old kid you talk to on the internet bc it's not weird when its online  
jack russel: god I wish I was 18 already  
jack russel: I'm legal in ireland but that's not what matters right?  
jack russel: anyway I should go i need to get to the bus stop so I can reach my interview by 7:30  
jack russel: I'll try and talk to you while im getting ready for my flight  
jack russel: later Vinny

     1:17am

jack russel: oh before I forget I should arrive at the JFK airport around 3pm ur time at gate c-2

     3:06am

red vines: Fuxk I'm wsted  
red vines: wasn't supposed to get drunk but i read your mesdages befire you deleted them and I just  
red vines: I didn't know what to do  
red vines is typing...  
red vines: I dont even remember what they said so dont worry about it  
red vines: you said 3? Gives me time to sleep the vodka off  
red vines: ill take a cab to you once I clean up my dorm  
red vines: Christmas break isny until the 23 so we'll be at my dorm until break  
red vines: I can't even see what th Fuck dude  
red vines: im going to black our I set my alarm for 1so I have time to get ready  
red vines: Love u see u soon  
red vines: Good luck at your interview and walking  
red vines: Shut up vinny jesus christ  
red vines: Night

     6:42am

jack russel: Oh my GOD i cant believe you saw those messages  
jack russel: Fuck shit god dammit  
jack russel: well at least you don't remember them because i really don't want my fucking stupidity to ruin our time together  
jack russel: God...  
jack russel: anyway  
jack russel: I'll delete those messages too  
jack russel: I'm at the airport  
jack russel: I'm checking in rn  
jack russel: ill let you know when I'm through customs  
jack russel: Drink lots of water and take those vitamins u talked about so u don't get too bad of a hangover!  
jack russel: ttyl for now  
jack russel: :3c

     7:20am

jack russel: Through customs n at the gate waiting for the flight to start boarding :-)  
jack russel: Im so excited!!! I'm so fuckin ready to see your face and hear your voice in person  
jack russel: I can't believe we've known each other for so long and ive never seen your face  
jack russel: kinda weird but... It makes it all the more "real", you kno?  
jack russel: like I'm gonna meet you for the first time all over again :-}  
jack russel: anyway I'm gonna watch some YouTube videos until we board  
jack russel: talk to u when I land!

     1:37pm

red vines: I missed my alarm like 5 times but I'm awake now and about to take a shower  
red vines: I already called the Uber to pick me up and it should be here any minute  
red vines: I'll scrub my body and wash my hair but I don't think I'll have time for anything else  
red vines: I have some cologne left tho so i won't smell bad

     2:01pm

red vines: im heading to you now  
red vines: I was fuckin sonic the hedgehog in the shower  
red vines: and cleaning up  
red vines: I hope you brought a heavier jacket bc its cold as shit in staten island  
red vines: there's some traffic but i should be there soon enough!

     2:49pm

red vines is typing...  
red vines: You said gate c-2 right? :-0  
red vines: We're here!  
red vines: The Uber car is a gold nissan  
red vines: I'm so ready to see you in person jack  
red vines: my body isn't used to being so excited  
red vines: im shaking a little haha  
red vines: Maybe it's my hangover but I'm not feeling as bad as I thought I would  
red vines: it's weird though, I don't remember what happened last night at the party  
red vines: Ah well  
red vines: I guess there's no real point in messaging you now since I'll be seeing you in person within half an hour so  
red vines: goodbye for now

                       ∆

     Anxiety coursed through Jack's veins the closer he found himself getting to the big glass door that exited out onto the pickup platform; he was reading over Vinny's messages from about 20 minutes ago and trembling, because _thank God,_ he didn't remember anything from this morning— or, rather, last night. He thanked any and all gods for the small miracle delivered upon him and sighed, his hand falling upon the wide metal handle as he approached the door and came to a stop. This... "T'is is it," He mumbled while staring out through the smudged and misted glass to the street outside. His heart thudded like a bass drum against his ribs the further he walked— out onto the platform, down the walkway towards gate C-2, and to what he thought was the Uber that Vinny had been talking about. It was gold, and had the symbol for Nissan on it, so he could only assume in the positive. Shifting the large duffel bag he had slung around his shoulder and gripping the strap across his chest tightly, he quickened his pace in the direction of the car, and—  
     One of the doors to the back seat flew open and a long leg stepped out, it soon being followed by an arm, an upper body, and a head covered in messy brown hair; Jack almost comedically screeched to a halt a few feet in front of the tall man that had gotten out of the car— he was so attractive. Jesus, he was hot as _fuck._ Jack could feel himself burning up just looking at him. His hair, as he'd noticed earlier, was brown, about medium-length and kind of wavy in some parts, and was parted on his left side to show off his strong brows; the back was a bit longer than the front and did a kind of cute little flippy thing out and off to the side of his neck; his eyes were a greyish-green that had a soft look to them; his skin was fair and clear for the most part, except for the moderate stubble he had; pink and full, his lips were very beautifully shaped and incredibly soft-looking; he appeared to be somewhat lanky, as his clothes, although they obviously fit, draped off his body in a way that showed he had no kind of excess weight on him. Speaking of clothes, he was wearing a brown bomber jacket over a light grey hoodie, as well as dark-washed jeans that fit nicely to his legs almost like skinny jeans, but not quite; everything was topped off with a pair of plain black sneakers that were very obviously one of the only pairs of shoes he owned. All Jack could do was stand there as he took in everything he could about the man in front of him, who could only be— "Vinny," He breathed, eyes wide and mouth hanging open just the slightest.  
     "Jack," Vinny mumbled, the sound barely audible over the ruckus of the vehicles and people around them. His expression mirrored Jack's own, and why that made his heart skip he would never know. Those pale greens flitted over him from head to toe and back again, coming back to land on his own blue eyes, which were staring at Vinny with all the emotion and adoration he'd been harboring for the past three— no, _six_ months, all the way back to when they'd first met; he'd felt connected to Vinny in a way he hadn't been able to describe, and still couldn't place, even now. "You're shorter than I thought you'd be,"  
     Vinny speaking jolted Jack out of his thoughts back to the present, where Vinny was looking at him with a small, gentle grin playing at his lips and a glimmer behind his eyes. "But you being cuter makes up for that, I guess," He finished.  
     "Ye t'ink I'm cute?" Jack questioned, his grip on the strap of his bag tightening and twisting ever so slightly.  
     "Not going to comment on me calling you short?" His tone was more snarky in person somehow, and Jack even got to see the expression he had when he made those kinds of comments— it was infuriatingly deadpan, and Jack loved it.  
     "I know I'm short, ya don't gotta tell me," Jack replied, his words earning him a low chuckle and bigger smile. Every part of his insides twisted and jumped at the sight. "If it's wort' anyt'in', yer a lot hotter than I could've ever made'ye be in me head,"  
     Vinny shoved his hands deeper into the front pockets of his jeans and flicked his gaze away, expression unreadable. "You're just saying that 'cause we're friends,"  
     "No I'm not," Jack ran a hand through his hair nervously. "I mean et,"  
     Eyes flickering back to Jack, Vinny asked, "Really?"  
     Jack shifted his weight and nodded. The intensity of having Vinny stare at him was causing Jack's legs to feel weak, so he ducked his head and shuffled towards the open car door, climbing inside with Vinny following close after him, the displacement of air causing Jack to catch a waft of wind in his nose that smelled of musk and something sharp. It was cologne, really nice cologne, and it seemed to be coming from Vinny, if the fact that the scent grew stronger when he turned towards him anything to go by. Shoving his bag down onto the floor board between his legs, he faced Vinny with as much of a smile as he could force past his anxiety and said, "Yer cologne smells good,"  
     "Yeah?" Vinny barely cocked a brow and tilted his head a bit to the side; he had one leg crossed over the other and his right forearm propped on the door, while the other rested on the back of the seat behind Jack (which Jack didn't notice until now and suddenly felt very flustered about, though he tried not to show it outwardly).  
     Nodding, he told him, "I didn't take ye fer a spiced cologne kinda guy, but it suits ye,"  
     "I didn't like the smell initially when I got it, but it kind of grew on me,"  
     "What's it called?"  
     Vinny shrugged. "I've never bothered to look, but when we get back to my dorm you can look for yourself, if you want to,"  
     Jack fidgeted with the cuffs of his jacket and tried not to think about being all alone with Vinny on his bed in his dorm, the lights turned down and music playing low in the background, Vinny's hand around his waist, the fingers playing with the button of his jeans—  
     No, now is not the right time to be fantasizing about that kind of shit, Jack, you fucking idiot, Jack internally chastised himself, turning his attention from his hands in his lap to Vinny beside him, who was merely just watching him with no particular kind of look on his face. It embarrassed him regardless. "What?" He asked, his feet shifting inside his black Converse.  
     "Nothing," Vinny said with a flat tone, "I'm just thinking,"  
     "About what?"  
     "You,"  
     A nervous chuckle. "What about me?"  
     "You're different in person,"  
     "Good or bad?"  
     "I don't know. You're exactly what I thought you'd be, but it's still so different than what I expected,"  
     Vinny laughed lightly, his head leaning into the right hand he had against the door so he could scratch the back of it. "So far, I like it, which means it can't be bad, right? I dunno," He uncrossed his legs just to cross the opposite leg over the other. "We'll have to wait and see,"  
     "I s'ppose we will,"  
     There were a couple minutes of silence before Jack managed to speak again, the first thing he said being, "Ev'ry time ye look at me, I feel embarrassed,"  
     "Why?"  
     "Maybe it's because yer so attractive. I-I hope ye don't mind me sayin' so, Vinny, but yer fockin' hot as hell,"  
     A breathy laugh from Vinny, the edge of it laced with... unease? Jack wasn't sure. "I wouldn't, particularly consider myself 'hot'..." He commented. "But if you think I am, then I'll believe you,"  
     "Ye look exactly how yer voice sounds, but better,"  
     "So I've been told,"  
     When the car came to a stop at a light, Jack looked out the window to the world beyond, marvelling at all the skyscrapers, the cars, the sheer amount of _everything everywhere._ He'd been in a big city before, but in America, it all seemed so much _more,_ like it'd taken Dublin and scaled it up a few times. "Kinda overwhelming, isn't it?" Vinny said from close behind him.  
     When he turned back towards him, he found that Vinny had unbuckled his seatbelt and scooted across the seat to be as close to him as physically possible without it being too weird, though it was still kind of uncomfortable. "A-a li'l bit, yeah," He murmured.  
     "You know," Vinny said in a hushed tone, "We haven't touched each other the whole time we've been in the car,"  
     "Are we, s'pposedta..?"  
     "No, but I thought we would've at least hugged. We're friends, after all,"  
     Right, friends. Just friends. Jack felt his heart drop to his feet at those words. "We can hug if ye want. I'd actually like dat a lot,"  
     "Later. It'd be kind of awkward to try hugging in a car,"  
     "Okay,"  
     Jack felt kind of puzzled by Vinny's behaviour. Was he always this enigmatic? Now that he thought about it, whenever they would talk on Skype, it was sometimes hard to decipher what he was saying— not verbally, but the meaning to his words, what he was actually trying to say with them. He could only field a guess that what was happening right now was the cause of that. "Why are ye t'inkin' about us not touchin'? How would we?" He asked.  
     Vinny shrugged; he was still incredibly close to Jack, so much so that Jack could feel the heat radiating off his body from his chest, as the two layers of jackets that he was wearing were unbuttoned and unzipped, revealing the black band Tee that he had on underneath. "It was just a thought," He responded.  
     Neither of them made a move to do anything, and for the rest of the ride they simply chatted quietly, with Vinny still pressed up against Jack and Jack trying not to make it obvious that he both loved and was distressed by the contact.

     The sky was growing dark when they finally arrived at Vinny's college— with the sun setting so early due to winter, it made it feel like they'd been gone a long time, even though it was only 4:13 in the afternoon.  
     Jack looked around as he walked, his eyes not able to focus on any one thing before they became fixated on something else; as he was bouncing around, he heard Vinny question with a smirk in his voice, "Excited?"  
     Jack turned to him and, upon seeing Vinny's half-lidded eyes and crooked smirk with his hair falling in his face, his breath caught in his throat and he muttered, "Wh... what?"  
     "The way you're bouncing around, are you excited?"  
     "Oh, ahm... Yeah, I-I am. It's my ferst time in America, and I'm wit' you,"  
     Vinny nodded, stopping in front of a building with a big metal door and grabbing the handle. "I'm excited, too. I know it doesn't seem like it, but I am,"  
     The door was opened for Jack and he was led inside by Vinny's hand on his back. "Sorta, but I cen tell. I've known ye fer mont's after all," He said, not noticing that Vinny's hand was still touching him until it shifted down lower on his back.  
     It didn't move for a long time— by the time Vinny took his hand away, they were outside his dorm, and he was using both hands to unlock and open his door. "Joel probably isn't here, so go on in. My bed's on the left,"  
     Sure enough, Joel, Vinny's roommate, wasn't there, the only other living things in the room being a row of succulents on the small window in the middle of the wall opposite the door; staring at them as he took off his jacket and shoes, he asked, "Whose cactuses?"  
     "Mine. I kept killing regular plants, so I got succulents instead since they don't need much care," Vinny locked the door and kicked off his shoes, taking Jack's coat from his hands and tossing them somewhere in the open closet.  
     Jack laughed lightly, smiling at Vinny when they were facing each other again. "I didn't take'ye fer a houseplant kinda guy,"  
     "Guess there's still a lot you need to know about me,"  
     "Guess so,"  
     Now that Vinny didn't have all the bulk from his jackets on him, Jack could truly see how lanky and... particularly hairy he was, if his peek of chest hair from the collar of his shirt and very hairy arms were telling of anything. Chewing his lip, Jack lowered his gaze to the floor and dropped back onto the bed, feeling Vinny sit next to him and bump his shoulder with his; there was something edging his usual empty voice, but Jack couldn't place what it was. "Hey," Vinny nudged him again. "I think I'd like that hug now,"  
     Lifting his head to Vinny, Jack grinned sheepishly and mumbled an "Okay" as he pivoted at the waist to be facing him; Vinny's expression was unreadable, but felt positive, so Jack assumed it to be so.  
     In the kind of dim lighting of the dorm room, as provided by the string of fairy lights strewn around the ceiling, Jack let himself be pulled into Vinny's soft embrace, his heart thudding so harshly that he was sure Vinny could feel it against his chest— he nestled his nose into the crook of the neck beside him in an attempt to calm himself, gripping the back of Vinny's shirt just as he was asked, "How does it feel?"  
     "T'e hug?" He asked.  
     "Yeah,"  
     "Ahm... It's, comforting, t' say de least. Ye feel much softer t'an I t'ought ye would,"  
     A noise of understanding; Vinny slid his hands up and down Jack's back in a soothing way, the warmth of his palms through Jack's long sleeve shirt kind of nice, as Jack was still a little cold since his jacket hadn't broken the wind much when they were outside. "T'at feels nice," He breathed, "Hands're warm,"  
     No response was made, merely the continued gentle rubbing of Vinny's hands, one working its way upward, the other moving down slowly— it had Jack tensing up, especially when Vinny ghosted over his neck, his fingers threading into the hairline there. "You're tense," Vinny stated quietly, "Do you not want me touching you?"  
     "No, I—" Jack gripped the back of Vinny's shirt, "It's j'st sensitive dere, is all,"  
     "How so?"  
     "Like... tingly,"  
     "Oh,"  
     Jack didn't look at Vinny initially when he pulled away, merely stared down at his lap with his face on fire; however, Vinny holding his shoulders and speaking forced him to do so. "Can you look at me, please?"  
     Sort of hesitant, he lifted his gaze to Vinny, the expression on his face changing to one of slight confusion. "I don't understand why you're acting like this," He said, "Why you look so scared,"  
     "I-I—" Jack tried to say.  
     "Do you not like me anymore?"  
     "No, I'm just—"  
     "Just what?"  
     "I like you, okay?" Jack diverted his eyes from Vinny's briefly.  
     "Then why are you so closed off?"  
     "B'cause I don't j'st like you, I..." Jack forced himself to make eye contact with Vinny as he told him, his heart in his throat, "I have a crush on ye, Vinny,"  
     Vinny furrowed his brows, and Jack's blood ran cold. "You... what?"  
     "Forget it, n-nev'rmind—"  
     Jack turned away and moved to get up, being jerked backwards by Vinny grabbing his arm and holding him in place. _"No,_ Jack, hold on," He demanded kind of harshly, though his expression was soft and full of bewilderment. "You have a crush on me,"  
     It was more statement than question, but Jack nodded almost invisibly. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" Vinny still hadn't let go of his arm.  
     "B-because, I'm just some stupid, annoyin' fockin' kid ye met on t'e internet t'at likes comic books 'n listens to punk rock, 'n yer... so much more t'an anyt'in' I could ever hope to be," He bowed his head. "Or even hopeta be with,"  
     Warmth and an overwhelming sense of constriction squeezed Jack's throat, telltale signs that he was about to— "I-I-I gotta go," He said in a rush, managing to rip his arm free of Vinny's grasp as he bolted for the door; out in the hallway, he made for the exit, stumbling through the heavy metal doors and out into the frozen courtyard. Snow fell in thick flakes from the sky, coating everything in white, including Jack— he'd been in such a hurry to get away that he'd forgotten his coat and shoes, and now the deep cold of the dark winter evening was cutting him to the bone. The wind chill was probably making it thirty degrees colder than it actually was, so as the tears ran out of his eyes and the snot from his nose, they began to create little ice patches on his face while he walked to nowhere in particular. "Fock," He whimpered to himself as he wiped at his cheeks, "why am I so fockin' dramatic?"  
     "Hey," A voice called to him.  
     Jack flitted his misty eyes towards the owner of the voice— in the shadows of the walkway that appeared to lead to a parking lot, a guy stood with his eyes looking like they were glowing due to the street lamps reflecting off his glasses. Of what little Jack could see of him, he had a pleasant face and obviously dyed red hair, as well as heavy stubble— everything else was obscured in the darkness of where he was standing and also because of the fact that he was wearing all black. "Are you self-harming?" The guy asked.  
     Sniffling, Jack furrowed his brows and mumbled, "What?"  
     "Well, why else would you be out here in nothing but jeans and a long sleeve shirt?"  
     "I don' want'a talk about et,"  
     "Didn't ask, so you don't have to tell me. You can, however, come with me to my dorm so I can go to bed with a clear conscience about you being somewhere safe and not out here freezing to death," The guy crunched through the snow up to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Unless you have somewhere else to be,"  
     Normally, Jack would be running in the other direction, but the cold was destroying his knowledge of common sense, which meant that he shook his head and allowed himself to be led away from any kind of safety and to a dorm building on the other side of the campus.

     "What's your name, anyway?" The guy asked as he closed the door and stripped off his outer layer.  
     "J-Jack," Jack shivered and rubbed his hands over his arms. "Or Sean,"  
     "Well, 'Jack or Sean', I'm Mark," Mark dug through his closet for a couple seconds, then pulled out a small white machine that looked to be a cheap space heater. He set it in front of Jack's feet next to the bed and then plugged it in, cranking both settings to max before pulling a blanket off of his roommate's seemingly unused bed and wrapping it around Jack's shoulders. "T-t'ankya..." Jack said in a choked voice.  
     "You're welcome. Make yourself at home, I'm gonna go take a shower. You don't mind if I'm in my undies around you, do you?"  
     "No,"  
     "Cool. See ya in twenty,"  
     And then he was gone, heading to one of the communal shower rooms with a bundle of clothes under his arm. Sighing, Jack folded in on himself and sighed again, though more heavily than before; God, he was such a fucking moron. He was so _stupid,_ in so many fucking ways. He couldn't control his emotions, he couldn't make himself react in a way that made sense, _ever,_ and now his whole trip was pointless and ruined because of him. "Stop being so fockin' dramatic, you piece of shit," Jack grumbled to himself. "I j'st need some time'ta focus, then I'll go 'n apologize t' Vinny,"  
     Sound in that, he closed his eyes and wrapped the blanket tighter around himself, unintentionally drifting off.

                       ∆

     The smell of pizza and tea pulled Jack from his sleep, the bright light of a desk lamp causing him to cover his face with his blanket and roll away from it, a gentle groan escaping past his lips. "Oh, you're awake," Mark said, Jack sitting up in confusion because this wasn't his bedroom; upon seeing Mark standing by the toaster oven and hot plate, all the events from earlier came back to him, and he exhaled deeply.  
     "What time is et?"  
     Mark checked his watch as he stirred a mug of tea, answering, "Quarter past nine. You only slept for a few hours,"  
     Jack stretched his arms and legs and let his blanket fall off of him as he did so, rubbing his eyes and looking down to find that he was wearing different clothes than he had been when he fell asleep— his red long sleeve had been replaced by a black T-shirt, and his socks as well as his jeans had been removed, his green and blue plaid boxer briefs left to their own devices. "Did ye... change my clothes?" He asked with his cheeks warming.  
     "Yeah I did. I hope you don't mind, your clothes were wet and I didn't want you to get sick," Mark jabbed his thumb over his shoulder to the open closet, where Jack could see his shirt and pants hanging up over the rail. "They're in there drying. They should be done by now if you want to change,"  
     If Jack was being honest, he didn't feel like changing, or getting up, for that matter— he was really hungry and kind of emotionally drained, so he just shook his head and folded his hands on his thighs, staring down at them; Mark looked over at him and raised an eyebrow, his hand not stopping its action of cutting the pizza he'd just taken out of the toaster oven. "Hungry?" He questioned.  
     "Yeah,"  
     "Grab a plate. You can have some pizza,"  
     Jack stood up slowly and strode the couple steps over to where Mark was standing and took a paper plate from the top of the microwave, placing two slices of supreme pizza on it before sitting back down. Mark sat beside him in the desk chair, using his desk as a table as he ate and sipped on his tea. "So are you gonna tell me what you were doing out in the snow earlier?"  
     Nibbling on his pizza, Jack said, "I was bein' an overdramatic asshole 'n ran out on someone," He swallowed the bite in his mouth and continued, "Vinny was j'st wonderin' why I was actin' t' way I was... I got scared, I guess,"  
     "So you were just being stupid?"  
     "...Essent'lly,"  
     Mark nodded and hummed in understanding. "You said his name was Vinny, right?"  
     "Yea,"  
     "I know where his dorm is. I can take you there whenever you're ready,"  
     "T'ankya. I want'a rest a li'l more, t'en I'll be outta yer hair,"  
     "No worries, it's cool to have someone around every once in a while. Usually I'm alone in my dorm all day since I don't have a roommate,"  
     "T'at's how et is fer me where I live. I'm out in t'e middle of nowhere, so I don't got anywhere ta go, yeknow?"  
     "I feel ya," Mark tipped back the rest of his tea before stating, "At least I don't have to worry about people walking in on me when I'm masturbating,"  
     A deep flush spread across Jack's countenance and he chuckled nervously, Mark's side grin causing him to avert his gaze from him to his food. He heard Mark spin in his chair while questioning, "What, you're not embarrassed by me talking about jacking off, are you?"  
     "N-no..." Jack tried to lie.  
     Mark's laugh was deep and unrestrained, his slanted eyes disappearing into his cheeks when he did so; rubbing his bare thigh, he chuckled, "How old're you that you still get embarrassed over boners?"  
     Setting his plate of partially eaten pizza aside, Jack fidgeted with his hands and mumbled, "17,"  
     Mark's eyebrows shot up. "Really? So you're a virgin, then?"  
     Jack didn't reply, instead just continuing to play with the bottom of his shirt. _Creak_ went the chair as Mark got up, only to sit beside him on the bed, the fingers of his left hand ghosting over the skin of his thigh. Almost immediately, Jack tensed up, his heart rate picking up speed and palms beginning to feel a little clammy; upon the tensing of Jack's thigh, Mark's hand retreated a tad, but returned after a few seconds, his voice rough when he spoke next. "You're very cute, Jack... I like you,"  
     "Y-ye do?" Jack managed to get out, his eyes growing wide and body stiffening the further Mark got to his crotch.  
     "Mhm, and I think you like me too, don't you?"  
     "I-I don'—"  
     Mark pushed the heel of his hand into the front of Jack's boxers while he kissed the corner of his mouth, Jack gripping the bedsheet in response, fumbling over his words in an attempt to protest, "I d-don't, don't t-t'ink I should b-be doin' t-t'is,"  
     "Shshsh, it's okay, I'll be careful,"  
     "Ahh," Jack breathed at the sensation of Mark mouthing at his neck, glancing down to see the bulge sticking out of the front of Mark's basketball shorts, his face flaring red at the sight.  
     "You're blushing," Mark whispered into his ear, "You're definitely a virgin... cute,"  
      _Knock knock knock_ on the door, a muffled voice shouting through, "Mark, you in there? It's Joel!"  
     Mark scowled, unlatching his lips from Jack's neck and yelling back in a very annoyed tone, "I'm busy, fuck off,"  
     "Maybe ye sh'd answer it..." Jack whispered, praying to God that Mark listened to him.  
     Grumbling, Mark hissed a "Hold on" under his breath, then stalked over to the door of his dorm and yanked it open. Jack shot up and nabbed his clothes from the rail in the closet, shucking Mark's shirt off in favor of his own, pulling his pants on hurriedly while Mark and Joel talked— Mark was clearly trying to get Joel to go the fuck away, Joel being curious as to why, and Jack immensely grateful for both the fact that he now had clothes on and because if Joel was here, that meant he could take him back to Vinny. He stood behind Mark in the doorway, waving shyly to Joel; Joel raised his brows and asked, "Mark, why the fuck is _he_ here?"  
     Mark turned at the waist to find Jack standing behind him, his expression going from annoyed to "oh shit" within a matter of seconds. "I uh, I found him wandering around outside earlier with no jacket or shoes on, so I brought him back here to warm him up. We've just been talking," He answered. "I was gonna take him back to Vinny once he was dried off,"  
     "Well, he looks pretty fuckin' dry, so why's he still here?"  
     "Like I said, we were talking,"  
     Flitting his blue-grey eyes to Jack, Joel inquired, "You done talking?"  
     Jack shook his head in agreement, making Mark sigh inaudibly and roll his eyes and Joel flick his head towards the dorm exit. "Then let's fuckin' go, we'll leave Mark here to do whatever the fuck he does all day,"  
     Dropping his head, Jack squeezed past Mark in the doorway and followed after Joel, briefly turning back to Mark and softly whispering as he walked, "T'anks fer everyt'in',"  
     All Mark said to that was, "If you're ever lonely, you know where to find me,"  
     Jack knew that once he was back with Vinny, he never would be. He appreciated the offer, though, in some way or another.

     Joel had given Jack his hoodie and his shoes for the walk back, telling him that he was from Sweden and this "fuckin' mild ass winter bullshit" was nothing to him. "Vinny's been worried sick about ya all night, yaknow," He told him, his socked feet kicking up the snow, "Ya didn't have your phone, so we couldn't call ya,"  
     "It was stupid'a me t' run out on Vinny, ah know," Jack rubbed the back of his head and exhaled heavily, "I-I'm over it now, so he doesn't gotta worry. I j'st... hope t'ings cen go backta t'e way dey were,"  
     "If I'm informed enough to say, I'm pretty sure things never changed. Vinny hasn't changed the way he feels about ya,"  
     Jack felt like he'd been punched in the gut, but tried not to show it, his face breaking into a sad smile. "Didn't t'ink so," He scratched his palms roughly, "'Cause we're always gonna be j'st friends, right?"  
     "Well yeah, but there's more to it than that,"  
     "What d'ya mean?"  
     "It's not really my place to tell you. Look, we're almost to my room, Vinny can say whatever the fuck he wants and you two can have a good ol' heart to heart or whatever you crazy kids call it these days. I'm gonna go teach Mark a thing or two about picking up random fucking kids on the street in the meantime,"  
     At the senior dorms, Joel held the door open for Jack, then took his hoodie and shoes back, waving goodbye to him before taking off in the direction they'd just come from. Wringing his hands with overwhelming anxiety making him break out in a cold sweat, Jack shuffled down the hallway to what he remembered as being Vinny's dorm, knocking on the door and fidgeting with the bottom of his shirt. There was the fiddling of a lock, the doorknob turning, then the door itself swinging open to reveal Vinny on the other side, his eyes kind of red and hair a mess, but otherwise he looked just as beautiful as he had when they'd met. "I'm sorry," Was the first thing out of Jack's mouth.  
     "Jack!" Relief washed over Vinny's countenance, his arms shooting out and wrapping Jack in a tight, warm hug that smelled of stale cigarette smoke and cologne. Jack wasn't sure what to do at first, but he eventually hugged him back, his whole body relaxing into the embrace like it was meant to be there— Jack wanted to believe that it was.  
     After a minute, Vinny pulled back and stepped aside, waving Jack in with an enigmatic expression. "Come inside, we need to talk,"  
     Jack shuffled into the room and to Vinny's bed, sitting on the edge of it and taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself; he watched Vinny walk over and sit across from him on Joel's bed, the space between them like an ocean and their seats like life rafts, each word said bringing their boats closer together. "Jack," Vinny began, his forearms resting on his thighs and gaze steady on Jack through his lashes, "You know that I don't hate you for what you said, right?"  
     Jack nodded slowly, feeling flustered due to the prolonged eye contact with Vinny but not wanting to look away for fear of a replay of earlier. "I know,"  
     "And, I understand why you ran away. I wasn't exactly clear in my response to what you told me,"  
     "So... what _was_ yer response t' what I said?"  
     Cocking his head to the side, Vinny said in a low tone, "That I feel the same way about you that I always have,"  
     Jack's gut twisted.  
     "I'm in love with you,"  
     Jack sat back and blinked hard, his heart skipping a beat. "Wh-what?"  
     "I love you, as in, my feelings for you are romantic and not just platonic,"  
     It was like his whole world had been thrust into an alternate universe, Jack's senses unable to grasp the reality of the situation even when Vinny had stood up and pulled him with him. "By the dazed look on your face, I'm assuming that you're still processing it," Vinny said.  
     "Ye really mean it?" Jack almost whispered. "Ye like me?"  
     "At first, I denied it to myself because I thought you would think I was some creepy asshole, but when you told me that you had a crush on me, it was like everything that I'd been holding in was let loose in a flood. And when you ran off, I was... scared, in a sense. I thought I'd lose you,"  
     "But I'm not 18," Jack mumbled, "Ye don' mind..?"  
     "Like I told you before, I don't really care about that kind of stuff. Besides, you're technically already an adult,"  
     Jack looked up at Vinny with a hopeful gaze and said, "Vinny, will you date me?"  
     All Jack was given in response was a deep kiss, the sudden action making him yelp in shock, though it wasn't unwelcome. The exact opposite, actually— he eagerly kissed him back, clinging to him and overzealously threading his fingers through his hair, fisting a handful. Vinny grunted at that, which made Jack breathe out between kisses, "Did, it hurt..?"  
     "I like having my hair pulled," Vinny whispered.  
     "Want me to pull hard?"  
     "If you're... ready for me to get horny,"  
     Jack released his grip on Vinny's hair and shyly simpered, curling his toes in his socks and shaking his head a tad. "'m not sure I'm ready fer t'at yet,"  
     "Okay. We can just kiss instead,"  
     And they did; Vinny's lips were softer than Jack thought a guy's should be, but he wasn't complaining, not when they were on his, pressing into him with an eager gentleness— an oxymoron of a sensation, but that's how it felt, and Jack loved it entirely too much; he nudged his waist into Vinny's thigh and whimpered softly into his mouth, the action apparently causing Vinny to grab at him with needy hands— Jack's shaky breathing was the result of that, and he knew that he was getting turned on, so he pulled back with a slight moan and gasped, "Vinny, not, not yet, not yet,"  
     "Sorry, got... carried away," Vinny pecked at Jack's lips and jaw, "I just really want you,"  
     Lightly smacking Vinny's chest and turning away from him the smallest bit, Jack rubbed his hot cheek and chuckled with embarrassment on the edge of his tone, "Shut t'e fock up,"  
     Holding him against his chest, Vinny kissed the top of his head, Jack's heart fluttering at how adorable that was; he still couldn't believe that all this was actually happening, that Vinny loved him back, that he was in America kissing him and being hugged by him, that they were together and dating and happy, that everything in every wild dream he's ever had was coming true right in front of him— he had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't, in fact, dreaming. Which he wasn't, and that only brightened the grin that'd spread across his face. "D'ya wanna go see a movie?" He asked, stepping back so that he and Vinny were face to face, both hands in each other's.  
     "Sure, what do you want to watch?" Vinny responded.  
     "Mm, we'll fig're it out when we get t'ere,"  
     And with that, they put on their shoes—Vinny first getting dressed—pulled their coats on, and left for the closest theater, hand in hand.

     Since Rogue One was in theaters and neither of them had gone to see it yet, they saw that, having kind of a hard time finding good seats due to the fact that the theater was packed, even days after the movie had come out. Neither of them were let down by it (Jack hadn't expected to be), and it was the only thing they talked about all throughout dinner at an empty Chinese buffet; eventually, the conversation died down and they chatted about themselves instead, their conversations leading from friends, to school, to homework, to classes, science, astrology, existentialism, the paranormal and the supernatural, TV shows, Rick and Morty, Gravity Falls, back to the supernatural, and then that discussion branching off into different topics that didn't end until they'd brushed their teeth and were in their pajamas in Vinny's room, the stereo playing music at a moderate volume and the fairy lights plugged in. The digital clock on the desk next to the bed told Jack that it was 2:19 in the morning as he listened to Vinny talk about his lack of self-confidence in his music, his drooping eyes and the excitement of today finally catching up to him. Telling Vinny that he was his biggest fan when it came to his music and that he would always believe in him even when he himself didn't, he fell asleep.

                       ∆

     Voices talking in a louder voice than he would've liked woke Jack up the next day (or later that day, depending on how you see it), a quick glance at his phone telling him that it was eleven am and he should be up already anyway; sitting up and stretching, he looked towards the origin of the voices, which happened to be Joel and the person who was presumably on the other side of the doorway. He pulled on a random shirt and shuffled up to Joel, tapping him on the shoulder and questioning in a groggy voice, "Who is it?"  
     Joel turned to him and smiled a little. "Jack, you're up!"  
     "Ya woke me up by yer talkin',"  
     "Oh, sorry,"  
     "Who's at t' door?"  
     Before Joel could answer, a familiar voice greeted him. "Hey Jack,"  
     Jack looked around Joel's shoulder to find Mark smiling softly at him, his whole body language a lot more relaxed and composed than when they'd previously met— that strange vibe he'd given off before was now gone, and it had Jack a lot less on edge around him. "Hey,"  
     "Sorry about yesterday, with what happened and everything. I hope there's no hard feelings,"  
     To be entirely honest, Jack didn't blame Mark for that incident, mostly because he didn't really care. Both of them had been emotionally compromised in some way or another, so it was really neither of their faults— simply an act of meeting each other at the wrong place at the wrong time. "It's alright. Ye seem pretty cool, 'n I hope we cen still be friends," He said.  
     Relief sparked behind Mark's brown eyes and he grinned his slanted grin, turning his attention back to Joel. "So do you think you can make it?"  
     "I don't see why not,"  
     As they talked, Jack noticed that Mark was wearing the shirt Joel had been wearing yesterday— although it fit a lot tighter on him due to the fact that he had way more muscle mass than Joel, the bottom seam was busted, so it had to be the same one. Just what kind of talking did he and Joel do? By the doting expression on Mark's face as he listened to Joel talk and the way he dropped his head to one side and popped a leg out as if he was attempting to be cute, it had been of a sexual nature. Or, that was what Jack was picking up, at the very least. By the way Joel's eyes roamed over Mark's body instead of sticking to his face, he wasn't far off.  
     "Then I'll see you later?" Mark asked.  
     "Definitely," Joel nodded in approval. He waved goodbye and then shut the door, Jack taking a couple steps back so as not to be in the way; Joel, meanwhile, was running a hand through his hair and huffing out an exhale that said "holy shit" without using any words. "What a fuckin' night," He sighed.  
     "Good 'r bad?" Jack asked.  
     "Fuckin' fantastic. That Mark, Jesus Christ, he's goddamn fucking crazy," Joel was smiling when he said that, so Jack assumed it was a compliment. "I need to take a fuckin' shower,"  
     Okay, so he'd stayed the night at Mark's place. They'd definitely had sex. He didn't get to ask Joel anything more before he was gone, a bundle of clothes and toiletries in his arms. Blinking the last of the sleep out of his eyes, Jack raided the mini fridge for something to eat while checking his phone— mostly emails, and a Skype message from Vinny telling him that he would be in class until two, then they could spend the rest of the day together, even though he didn't have anything planned. Jack replied saying that it didn't matter what they did, he was just happy to he with him, then tossed his phone on the bed and set to work making himself something to eat.

     That something ended up being eggs and toast with a bowl of partially stale cereal, which he ended up having to make a second helping of since Joel came back and whined about being hungry and wanting some, too. As they sat and ate, Jack prodded, "So what did Mark want?"  
     "Right, I didn't tell you," Joel shoved his toast in his mouth and chewed, saying past his food, "He invited us to a Christmas party,"  
     "T'at sounds like fun,"  
     "It's Ramirez's house party, which means there's gonna be a lotta fuckin' alcohol, loud as shit music, and drugs, so I dunno if that's yer thing,"  
     Jack shrugged, some unease nagging at his brain that he did his best to brush off. "I've never gone'ta one, I wouldn't know,"  
     "Well, now's your chance to experience it. Vinny said he's coming too, so don't worry, you won't be alone,"  
     "Is dere a special way I got'a dress?"  
     "Oh yeah, now that ya mention it, Mark said that you hafta dress all Christmasy, so like Santa outfits and shit. I'm guessing ya don't have anything like that,"  
     Jack shook his head. Joel shoved his plate in the overflowing trash can, taking Jack's empty one and doing the same thing. "Me neither, that's why I'm goin' out to buy something. You can come with if you want, pick out an outfit for yourself,"  
     "Ye don't mind buying it fer me?"  
     Joel laughed, the sound a high-pitched titter that was almost annoying, but not quite. "I'm not the one paying for it. Vinny gave me some money to buy him an outfit, and it should be enough for the both of you to get something simple,"  
     Wringing his hands as he nodded, Jack stood up, grabbing his pants off the floor and saying, "Let's go, den,"

     The first store they went to was a Party City, but they didn't have anything that wasn't made out of literal tissue paper, so they went to the Spencer's in the mall to look at the stuff there, since, according to Joel, they always had costumes on sale.  
     It was... weird, to say the least. There was a lot of uncomfortably sexual and immature shit further into the store, which made Jack stick to the front where all the clothes were; surveying the selection, he heard Joel on the other side of the display talking to someone on the phone about which outfit he should pick, the conversation not really registering as his attention had been grabbed by something shoved in the back of the row of sexy Santa costumes— it was a pair of glittery red leggings with faux white fur on the bottom of the pant legs, a red long sleeve shirt made of the same material with the same white fur on the collar, bottom seam, and cuffs, and a matching Santa hat. It had a "one size fits all" sticker on it and no obvious gender category on it—not that it mattered really—so Jack went around to where Joel was and waved the package, Joel throwing him a thumbs up and handing him a twenty, then going back to talking on the phone; Jack wasn't entirely sure how American money worked, but he figured he could just let the cashier work it out.  
     At the register, he handed the lady behind the counter the outfit and the twenty, watching as she rang it up, taking the eight fifty out of the bill and handing him the change and receipt with a tight-lipped smile. "T'ankya," Jack said quietly, shoving the cash and two quarters into his pocket, the receipt into the bag, and then taking the bag from the counter, stepping off to the side of the register to wait for Joel to finish his shopping, which he did within the span of three minutes, carrying a reindeer onesie and a green faux knit sweater that had snowflakes and Christmas trees on it.  
     "What'd you get?" Joel asked him as they were walking out of the mall.  
     "It's a Santa outfit, I t'ink," Jack said.  
     "Looks a little too glittery to be for guys,"  
     "Doesn't really matter, 'm only gonna wear et once,"  
     "I suppose,"  
     "Which one's yers?" Jack motioned to the bags in Joel's hand.  
     "The reindeer. Vinny sucks and asked me to get him a sweater and nothing else, that boring fucker,"  
     "Sounds like him," Jack laughed.  
     Once they'd gotten in the car, Joel plugged the aux cord back into his phone and blasted his metal music; Jack looked out the window the whole way back and tuned out the noise as he immersed himself in his thoughts on what him and Vinny would be doing later that day— it would be quarter past one by the time they got back, but Vinny said he wouldn't be out of classes until 2, and Joel said that the party started at 10, so that gave him and Vinny seven hours to be with each other before they went to the party. Jack started a mental list of things they could do in that time: play out in the snow, listen to music, go out to eat, watch movies, walk around the city, maybe visit the art gallery, play video games—he'd seen a couple systems in the dorm—maybe work on some music together. It all sounded like fun to him, so it seemed like the decision for what to do would have to be made by Vinny. He'd always been the better decision maker, anyway. "You listenin' to me, Jack?"  
     Jack lifted his head to Joel and hummed questioningly. Joel rolled his eyes and shook his head, letting his foot off the brake when the stoplight turned green and repeating, "I said, make sure you try on yer pants 'n shit when you get back, ok? I'll be with Mark most of today, so ya won't be seein' me until the party,"  
     "What'll ye guys be doin'?" Jack asked.  
     Joel shrugged with his eyebrows raising. "Yaknow... stuff. Schoolwork,"  
     Jack nodded. "Mm,"  
     Clearing his throat, Joel turned up the music.

     In retrospect, Jack should've assumed that the costume wouldn't fit.  
     Well, that wasn't entirely true. It _fit,_ but tightly, and the shirt was practically transparent; his greyish dark brown chest hair and the bumps and curves of his body was in plain view, which had him crossing his arms to cover his chest— he looked unintentionally erotic, and it was so embarrassing. However, he didn't want to make Joel drive back to the Spencer's to exchange it, so it looked like that was what he would be wearing to the party. Stealing his gaze back to himself, he undressed and then folded the shirt and pants, piling them onto the foot of the bed and placing the hat on top; he put his other clothes back on, pulling his shirt over his head just as the door opened with Vinny on the other side, appearance particularly drained. His book bag was overflowing with paper and notebooks, his laptop jammed in halfway between it all as though he'd been in a rush. "I need a nap," He groaned, letting his bag and jacket slip off of his shoulders as he walked to the bed and fell onto it, kicking his shoes off and sighing deeply. "I have so much homework to do, Jack. I don't think we'll be able to do much today,"  
     "Can't ye put it off until tomorrow?" Jack shifted his weight, rubbing his hands over each other.  
     "I have been, that's why I have so much. I need to do some before the party..."  
     "I-I understand," Jack's heart fell into his gut. "Are ye hungry? I cen make ye somet'in',"  
     "No, I'm just gonna go to sleep. Wake me up in a couple, okay?"  
     "Sure t'ing. Sleep well,"  
     Within the time it took Jack to put Vinny's stuff away, he'd fallen asleep and was snoring gently, leaving Jack to his own devices.  
     Sitting at the desk chair, Jack took everything out of Vinny's bag and organized it on the desktop, doing so by plugging in the laptop to charge, just in case it needed it, then separating all the work into piles by class— English, anatomy and physiology 2, history, writing, and linguistics. Looks like Vinny finished all of his core classes already. Furrowing his brows and turning up his mouth at the sight of all the work Vinny had to do, Jack desperately wished that he had the knowledge of any of Vinny's homework, just so he could lighten his load a little... Looking over the papers, Jack sighed— he didn't recognize any of it, except for some of the anatomy stuff, since that was one of the college courses he was taking. At the very least, he could fill that in. It took him a while, but he worked his way through the anatomy stack, finishing it just as it came time to wake Vinny from his nap.

     For most of the four and a half hours that Jack was left to busy himself alone while Vinny did his schoolwork, he played video games and watched movies on Netflix, occasionally asking Vinny how it was going, how he was doing, if he needed anything, and encouraging him to take a break and watch him play Overwatch on the TV they had mounted on the wall next to the closet. "Even though I know it's my last year and it's almost halfway over, I still want to drop out," Vinny told him when he asked how he was feeling during one of his snack breaks. "I've wanted to drop out since I started going here, but it's gotten worse this past year,"  
     He laid back on the bed and rolled over onto his side, curling in way that still allowed him to see the TV and Jack, who would toss a glance to him every once in a while he played his game. "In a nutshell, I don't want to do anything that involves college,"  
     Jack nodded in understanding, turning to him briefly to say, "Once it's over, ye will be glad ye did it," He faced the TV again and continued, "If ye drop out now, ye'll regret it later on,"  
     "Yeah, I know," Vinny said under his breath. Rolling up until he was off the bed and standing, he stretched, Jack raising his eyebrows at the succession of knocks sounding out from all of Vinny's limbs and joints. "I should get back to my essay,"  
     "Good luck, baby," Jack said, which earned him a flustered huff of a laugh.  
     "Thanks, I'm gonna need it,"

     "Et's nine t'irty, Vinny," Jack tapped Vinny on the back, stopping him in the middle of his typing.  
     "Hm? Oh, time to go?" Vinny mumbled, lifting his gaze to Jack.  
     "Yeah. I'll get dressed 'n let ye finish yer paper,"  
     "Okay. I only have a couple lines left to type out, then I'll get ready,"  
     Jack shook his head affirmatively, turning away from Vinny so that he could change into his unnecessarily promiscuous Santa outfit; it was just as glittery and see-through as the first time he'd put it on and just as tight, his black boxer briefs visible when he popped his butt out, everything else visible regardless of movement. To match, he laced up one of the only pair of shoes he'd brought, which were his (coincidentally) red Converse— he didn't have a matching jacket, so he took a black one from the closet and was about to put it on when Vinny said quietly, "You look good,"  
     Jumping a little, Jack looked to Vinny while simultaneously trying to cover himself, red warmth flooding his cheeks upon seeing Vinny rake his eyes over his body from head to toe and back again. "T-t'anks, i-it doesn't fit," He murmured, dropping his gaze to the floor while yanking his coat on.  
     "I think it fits you perfectly,"  
     Jack didn't know what to say to that, so he didn't say anything, merely zipping up his jacket, then pulling his Santa hat onto his head. "Y-ya should get ready," He told him.  
     "Yeah," Vinny's tone was flat.  
     Awkward. Cringing inwardly, Jack decided to wait by the door, facing away from Vinny so as to give him privacy— which he didn't seem to care much about; to be fair, living in a dorm, how much privacy do you really get? Jack wondered if Vinny and Joel had ever messed around. Probably not, since Joel seemed to be more into the muscular types, which Vinny was definitely not. In all actuality, the probability of those two having ever done anything was so miniscule that Jack couldn't even imagine Vinny in that situation, he just kept shape-shifting into Mark. It was humorous. "I like this sweater," Vinny said aloud, admiring himself in the mirror on the back of the sliding closet door, "I don't know about it on me, though,"  
     Jack turned and eyed Vinny up and down, becoming breathless at how well the sweater accentuated his body. "It suits ye," He told him, doing his best to smile past the pounding of his heart. "Wear it,"  
     Vinny shot a quick look to Jack, then back at the mirror, then to his shoes so he could tie the laces, saying, "Sure,"  
     Once he'd finished tying his sneakers, Jack watched him shove his ID into his pocket and then unplug the fairy lights, waving him out of the door. "Let's go meet Joel,"  
     However, that was deemed not necessary, as, when they made it out of the room, they collided with Joel and Mark in the hallway. "Jesus Christ!" Joel cried, simultaneously stumbling backwards. "I didn't think ya were that excited to see me, Vinny,"  
     "You wish," Vinny pushed him again.  
     During this strange interaction, Jack nodded in greeting to Mark with a tiny simper, seeing his (for some reason) tight reindeer hoodie and light up antlers and inquiring, "Did ya 'n Joel plan t'a match?"  
     Laughing, Mark shook his head, taking his antlers off to instead run his fingers through his hair, replacing them shortly after, "It was an accident, but it ended up being appropriate,"  
     "How so?" Jack raised a brow.  
     "Well..." Mark chewed on his hoodie string. "He asked me to be his boyfriend,"  
      _"Really?"_  
     Before anything more could be said, Joel shouted from down the hall, "Hey, we fuckin' goin' or what?"  
     Apparently Vinny and Joel had begun to exit the building while Jack and Mark had been talking, probably assuming that they would follow behind. Jack rushed towards Vinny shouting apologies, hearing Mark quicken his pace in order to catch up; once they were all together again, they headed in the direction of the parking lot and to Joel and Vinny's car, whereupon they all piled in— Vinny in the backseat with Jack, Mark in the front with Joel driving.  
     The house that the party was being held at was only five minutes away, so they weren't in the car for long; not that it mattered, since the music coming from the house would've been loud enough for them to party to four blocks away. Jack didn't mind loud music— being home alone all the time and in the middle of nowhere lent to his playing music as loud as his shitty computer speakers would go. This was no different. "You have to pay to get in?" Mark exclaimed as they pulled up to an empty parking spot and spotted the bouncer at the front door taking cash from people as they entered.  
     "What the fuck?" Joel grumbled.  
     "I don't have my wallet," Vinny announced, which made Joel shout back to him over the booming bass.  
     "Why the shit not?!"  
     "You don't bring your fucking wallet to a party, dumbass, that's how you get your identity and money stolen,"  
     "Whatever. We'll just have to go back to the fuckin' dorm 'n get the money for the entrance fee,"  
     "Why not j'st sneak in?" Jack blurted.  
     They all looked at him with either raised or furrowed brows— except for Vinny, whose expression was as deadpan as always. "Sneak in?" Mark asked.  
     "Into Ramirez's house? Are you fucking—"  
     "Sounds good to me," Vinny cut Joel off. "Let's go,"  
     Before he even knew what was happening, Jack was being tugged out of the car by a hand, Vinny holding him and sneaking with him around to the back of the house by hiding behind the bushes that lined the yard. Behind them, Mark and Joel protested profusely in hushed tones, trailing after them slowly; Jack checked all the windows as he walked past them to see if they were unlocked, finding none of them to be. The only other option was the back door or the door to the garage— "Oh," Jack whispered when the jerk he'd given the sliding glass door resulted in it opening up wide enough for the four of them to squeeze through. There was a wooden stick blocking it from opening fully, and as a result they had to slip in sideways in order to fit.  
     "We're gonna get kicked out," Joel hissed.  
     "We won't if you shut up," Vinny replied.  
     Mark snorted and Jack chuckled under his breath as he closed the back door and locked it.  
     Everything was in full swing by the time they got themselves situated in the main area of convergence, which was the kitchen, dining room, and living room, as they all flowed into each other without any walls to separate them; no one seemed to have noticed that they'd come in through the back door, as the dining room and kitchen, where the door was, was flooded in blacklight from the ceiling lamps. In the living room were strobe and disco lights, which Jack didn't want to go near since he was kind of sensitive to flashy stuff. Kanye West was blasting from the hi-fi speakers nailed to the corners of every wall, the smell of weed, alcohol, and sweat hanging in the warm air like a heavy fog, accentuating the feel of it all. "Where's the fuckin' booze in this joint?" Joel yelled over the music.  
     "It's in the basement!" Answered a girl with her pink and white fur dress stained with a light brown liquid and both hands holding drinks.  
     "I'll go with you," Mark said, taking Joel's hand, Jack raising an eyebrow at how tightly Joel gripped it.  
     "Do you guys want anything?" Joel asked Jack and Vinny.  
     "A soda," Jack said— he didn't really want to drink.  
     "Rum and coke for me," Vinny answered.  
     "Cool. Back in a sec,"  
     Somewhat jarringly, Joel and Mark took a step forward and disappeared into the throng, Jack kind of worried that they'd get lost, but then, how big could this house be? A gentle brush of his arm through his coat caused him to stop thinking and look to Vinny, who was smiling softly at him. "Want me to take your coat?" He asked.  
     As much as Jack didn't want to show off his... costume, he was starting to feel uncomfortably warm, so he nodded and slipped his coat off, handing it to Vinny, who took it and told him, "I'll go find a closet to put it in,"  
     "Oh, okay," Jack said, shifting his weight. "Should I j'st... wait here?"  
     "Sure, but that's no fun. It's a party, go dance or something. I'll find you when I'm done,"  
     "Uhm... yeah, a-alri'te, cool,"  
     A crooked grin, Vinny giving him a kiss, then heading off to shove his coat somewhere in the house. Jack watched him go until he couldn't see him anymore past all the people in the type of Christmas costumes you'd expect college kids to wear to a party; skimpy Mrs. Clause outfits, T-shirts with Santa or Christmas tree designs, legit Santas, elves with tattoos, and other things that Jack was too embarrassed to look at. Sighing, he lowered his head and pushed his way through the crowd in the direction of where he'd seen Joel and Mark go, hoping to find them or the basement, whichever came first. "Hey you!"  
     Jack stopped in his tracks and looked around to see who'd shouted and if it was directed at him, seeing that girl from earlier come stumbling towards him with her drink spilling all over the place as she did so. When she finally made it to him— Jack tensing up and she grabbing onto his shoulder— she started laughing, managing to wheeze out past her giggles, "Can— can you help me down the stairs to th' basement? I'm fuckin' wasted 'n I don't think I can make it without falling,"  
     "U-uh, sh-shure, where—"  
     "Behind th' stairs. Left,"  
     Turning up his mouth, Jack led the girl slowly towards the basement, keeping his hand on hers so that she wouldn't let go of him in her drunken stupor; there were so many people heading towards the source of the alcohol that he didn't have to try very hard to get there, and within a minute he was holding the lady by the arm and helping her down the steps and onto the floor at the bottom, where a gathering of people were either sitting, laying, dancing, or just standing around. There was a wet bar at the far end and a kitchenette with a table of food and a trash can at the other, random furniture strewn in between, and a couple of girls who were standing next to the closet beside the stairs, calling someone. "Theh they are! Sammy, hey!" The girl tripped over her boots while trying to get over to her friends, managing to turn back to Jack and laugh, "Th-thank you!"  
     Jack nodded once and nervously pivoted on his heel away from her, too shy to say or do anything in return, merely shuffling away and fiddling with the fur on the bottom of his shirt while trying to look around for Mark and Joel— the basement was clearing out some, so it was easier than before, but he still couldn't find them anywhere, not even in the closet or half-bath. "God fockin' dammit," He hissed as he leaned against the bar, "Where t'e fock..."  
     There was the tapping of glass on wood against the counter next to him, along with a voice asking, "Thirsty?"  
     Jack shot his gaze towards the owner of the voice, who turned out to be the bartender, a tall guy with blond streaks in his dark brown hair and white glasses, a towel stereotypically thrown over his shoulder. He was resting on an elbow on the bar, chin in one hand, the other holding a glass. Jack leaned away from him somewhat, hoping that he didn't notice. "A little," He responded, "Do ye got Coke?"  
     "The drug or the drink?" The bartender joked, though it was lost on Jack.  
     "What?"  
     Cracking a grin, the bartender huffed a laugh and stood up, taking the towel from his shoulder only to whip it back in its place. "Nevermind. Coke you said?"  
     Jack shook his head in agreement. "An' a rum 'n coke,"  
     "You don't want rum in both?"  
     "No, I don'— no,"  
     The guy raised his brows and mumbled something inaudible under his breath— although the music wasn't as loud down here, Jack still couldn't hear very well. He watched as the bartender poured soda from a two liter bottle into two plastic cups, beginning to talk as he took the rum from the shelf behind him. "So, how's the party so far?"  
     "Ehh..." Jack shrugged a shoulder. "I haven't done much yet, I jus' got 'ere,"  
     "Oh yeah? Did you come with anyone?"  
     "Yeah, my boyfrien' an' his friends. Speakin'a which, didya happen' t' see a guy with red hair 'n glasses and a long-haired boy, bot' wearin' reindeer costumes, didjya?"  
     "Mm..." The guy cocked his head in thought for a second, then went back to pouring the rum into one of the cups of soda. "Nope, don't think so. There's been a lot of people through here tonight, so,"  
     "No I understand, I was only askin',"  
     After dropping a couple ice cubes in both drinks, the bartender slid the cups to Jack, resting against the bar again as he said, "Left one's yours, right one is for whoever,"  
     "Vinny, my-my boyfriend,"  
     "Vinny?" The brunet questioned. "You're dating _him?"_  
     Jack furrowed his brows in confusion, bobbing his head in agreement a few times. Scoffing, the guy turned away, mumbling, "Okay..."  
     "Why are ye reactin' like t'at? What's wrong wit' him?" Jack asked.  
     "I'm guessing you're new around here, so you don't know, but that Vinny guy, everyone knows him. He's sort of promiscuously infamous, you know?"  
     Jack tipped his head, confused. Rolling his eyes, the bartender shifted his weight to one leg and crossed his arms. "For a while, he was a real bedbug. Got a lot of money doing that, is what I hear,"  
     "Doing what?"  
     "He fucked people for money, you dumbass. Usually in dorm rooms, but at parties, too," He shifted weight to his other leg and uncrossed his arms to instead grab and fiddle with his towel. "It got to the point where he needed a pimp, I think his name was Joe? Joel? It was his roommate, I'm pretty sure,"  
     Looking down at the drinks in his hands, Jack's mind raced from the effort of trying to process the information told to him; he heard the bartender say something else, but he couldn't hear it, walking away from him and across the length of the basement to the stairs, slowly going up them with the beat of the music pounding his chest and his brain fuzzy.  
     Upon reaching the first floor, he found a chair mostly away from everyone and sat in it, sipping on his Coke as he thought— how could Vinny never tell him about that? He was a fucking prostitute? Or, call boy, or whatever the fuck it was called. If Vinny had earned the reputation of being that, and everyone knew, he must've done it for a long time... and, maybe still does. Is that why he wanted to come to this party? Is that why he wanted Jack to walk around and "have fun"? So he could go off and earn money? "No no Jack, don't—" Jack tossed back the rest of his drink before finishing, "Don't jumpta conclusions, h-he wouldn't do t'at t'ya,"  
     But what if he would?  
     It wasn't necessarily that he was mad about Vinny having slept with other people— Jack had already assumed as much, what with how hot he was, it was more so that Vinny hadn't told him about it, that he'd kept such a huge part of his life from him; that guy had said Vinny'd earned a lot of money from fucking around, so that meant he had money to live after graduation, right? Then why had he said all that shit about both of them needing to work to save up so that they could live together? Like he had nothing? And yet he bought all that stuff in his dorm, that nice cologne, gave Joel money to buy costumes just for a party, bought him a nice Christmas gift... Jack drank Vinny's drink in one fell swoop, his eyes wide and hands dropping the cups and grabbing at his hair, mumbling to himself, "Calm down, calm down, j's get a holda yerself 'n t'ink rationally, it's not as bad as ye t'ink, it's probably... probably not t'at bad,"  
     He took deep breaths, in and out, counting to three after each inhale, exhaling slowly, then stood up so he could find Vinny and talk to him.  
     As soon as he was on his feet, his knees gave way and he was on the floor, the whole room spinning and his body feeling weak— is this what being drunk was like? No, he couldn't have possibly gotten drunk from just one rum and coke, there was no way. Then... "Wha... wha th' fuck..." He slurred as he tried to stand. Why was he so fucked up? The only reason he could think of is that someone did something to his drink, but no one's been around his cups, except for— "Th' b-bartennnder," He whispered.  
     Before he knew what happened, he was in a hallway, passing by who he thought was Mark and Joel making out against a wall, neither of them seeming to notice as Jack was taken to a bedroom; he passed out for what felt like a second, but when he came to, the same guy from the bar was talking to him, his hands all over his body. "There you are, I was wondering when you were gonna come back to earth,"  
     "Where... wha are ye doin'..?" Jack tried to push his hands off of him, but his arms didn't seem to want to work.  
     Chuckling, the brunet started kissing his neck and palming at his dick through his pants, simultaneously whispering, "You looked so sexy, and you seemed so innocent, I just had to give you something to help you open up to me," His hand went down his pants. "That, and you're Vinny's little slut, so I think I can work with that,"  
     Jack blinked and he was lying on the bed, his clothes still on but not for long, as the taller male was working on getting his own off first; hyperventilating, Jack forced every muscle in his body to _cooperate_ so he could move, and he did, managing to roll off the bed and onto the floor, where he hit the ground and immediately puked. "Need me to hold your hair back?" The brunet laughed, the bed squeaking in protest of him moving to climb off of it.  
     "S-stay t'e... f-fock away from m-me," Jack heaved, looking back at the man behind him and weakly kicking his leg out.  
     "You weren't saying that earlier when I was jerking you off,"  
     Pulling his skin, the guy grabbed him by the ankle and dragged him closer, then snatching up his arm so that he could pull him back onto the bed, and Jack blacked out again.  
     A loud bang and lots of shouting is what he came back to— his head lolled to the side, allowing him to see Vinny huffing in the doorway, his eyes growing wide at the sight of Jack lying barely conscious on the bed, some guy straddling his thighs while working to get his pants and underwear down. "V-Vinny..." Jack croaked, his arm barely moving towards him.  
     "Not so great when it's you walking in on your boyfriend fucking someone else, is it?!" The guy yelled at Vinny, pulling Jack up by his hair and shoving his tongue into his mouth. Jack smacked his arm as hard as he could, which wasn't very, resulting in the brunet dropping him back onto the mattress and getting up. "I bet he was a virgin, right? Not anymore,"  
     "Fuck you, Toda!" Vinny shouted, stomping over to Toda and holding him by the scruff of his shirt. "It happened a year ago. Get the fuck over it,"  
     "Mickey would never do that to me. You're the reason she left,"  
     "She told everyone she was single for TWO WEEKS before she called me, when are you gonna get it through your thick skull that she wasn't all you deluded her to be? She switched colleges just to fucking get away from you!"  
     Toda laughed condescendingly, shaking his head. "You're lying,"  
     All Vinny said to that was nothing, simply punching Toda in the face so hard the sickening crunch echoed, and when Vinny let go of him, Toda fell to the floor, unresponsive. Jack did his best to stay awake, but his eyelids kept fluttering, bits and pieces of time popping in and out when they did so. Vinny's voice was all choppy when he spoke. "You're ok—" "I'll get you—" "Joel, get the—" "Baby, you gotta stay—"  
     The last thing Jack heard before he passed out completely was "It's okay, you're safe now,"

                       ∆

     Afternoon sun beaming through the halfway closed blinds woke Jack the next day, his head pounding and stomach churning when he sat up, however groggily. He checked his phone and frowned at the date; it was the 21st? Did he fall asleep waiting for Vinny to finish his homework and miss the party? He couldn't remember going— no, wait, yes he did, he remembered sneaking in and Vinny taking his coat, then him going to get drinks, and then nothing else. He'd also seen Mark and Joel making out at one point, but that was it.  
     The door opened to reveal Vinny on the other side, holding a bag with two styrofoam containers inside and a drink carrier containing two medium sized cups of soda. Upon seeing Jack awake and sitting up, he set the food down on the desk and sat beside him on the bed, wrapping him in a hug, kissing him. "Hey, how do you feel? Did you sleep okay?" He asked.  
     "I s'ppose so, but... I don' remember what we all did at t'e party yesterday. Did I get drunk 'r somet'in'?"  
     The expression on Vinny's countenance suggested it to be the latter. Heart racing, Jack asked, "W-what happened? Vinny?"  
      Holding his hands, Vinny averted Jack's gaze. "This guy who hates me spiked your drink and tried to fuck you to get back at me. He didn't get very far and I punched the shit out of him, so don't worry, okay?"  
     Well, that was... unexpected, but Vinny said he didn't get far, which made him feel a little better about it. As much as he tried to recollect any of that going down, he couldn't; maybe a smidge of being dragged backwards by the ankle, but other than that, nothing. "Oh, t'at sucks," He said quietly. "I can't recall, so 'm not dat messed up about et,"  
     "That's good, at least. Are you hungry?"  
     Jack inclined his head agreeingly, Vinny reaching back and nabbing the food from his desk, setting it on his lap and untying the knot; he took the top box out and set it on the mattress, removing the other one and holding it while he chucked the plastic bag behind him. "What is et?" Jack asked, placing his food on his thighs.  
     "Tacos from the truck down the street. You okay with chicken?"  
     "Yeah,"  
     They ate in relative silence; it wasn't uncomfortable, Jack simply not having anything to say— and neither did Vinny, apparently. It wasn't until Jack was almost done with his third and last taco did Vinny speak, closing his box and lightly tossing it aside. "It's not as cold as it was yesterday," He sipped on his drink, "I think it's only 36 degrees outside,"  
     Jack handed Vinny his container to throw it away, wiping his hands on the sheets and then folding them in his lap. "D'ya wanna go fer a walk? Kinda wanna get some fresh air, yaknow?"  
     "Sure. I'll put my jacket back on,"

     A lot of the snow that'd frozen over the past couple days had started to turn soft thanks to the slightly warmer weather and gentle drizzle that was falling; it was more of a heavy mist than anything, kind of refreshing in a sense. He hummed at the feeling and intertwined his fingers with Vinny's, turning to him with a smile, smiling even wider upon seeing Vinny scratch the back of his head and crack a tiny sideways simper. "Yer very cute, Vinny," He told him softly, "I'm glad I get t'a look at ye ev'ry day,"  
     "Every day until you have to go home," Vinny said.  
     "True, but it'll be t'e best days of me life,"  
     Vinny snorted, but Jack could see his cheeks flushing and giggled.  
     Until they reached a bench under a tree in a park not far from campus, Jack had them swinging their arms, Vinny having to bend his as Jack was shorter than he was and his arms were not as long. They'd talked about mostly trivial stuff, like what they wanted to do later, how grateful Vinny was for Jack doing his anatomy worksheets, what kind of things their individual families did for Christmas, and, finally, what Toda had been talking about at the party. "Jack, do you recall what Toda said to you last night?"  
     Knitting his brows together, Jack thought hard, trying to dig up any memory of Toda or his words, but it was impossible. "No, I can't say t'at I do,"  
      He tipped his head to the right quizzically. "Why?"  
     "It... had to do with how I used to make money, like a year or so ago, and since you don't remember and I was going to tell you eventually anyway, I want to talk about it now," Vinny ran his hand through his hair.  
     Jack fingered the cuff of his jacket, staring at Vinny with an attentive intonation; he studied Vinny as he leaned against the back of the bench, taking out a cigarette and lighting it, talking past the cigarette in his mouth. "A few months into my freshman year, an upperclassman asked me if I would be willing to act as part of the hazing for his new frat members if he paid me for it, and I said yes," He sucked on the cig, then blew the smoke out through his nose. "I didn't ask him what it was because I honestly didn't care. This was around the time in my life that I was really depressed and self-destructive," He stopped to snort, taking the cigarette from between his lips momentarily to continue, "Not that that ever stopped, but anyway, I said yes, and he told me when and where, and I went later that day, the guy and his friends meeting me and giving me the money, which I think was like, a hundred bucks or something. Then they told me to strip down to my underwear and wait in the shed.  
     "After about fifteen minutes, the guy, Travis I think his name was, came back with two guys, one that was my age, another that was a couple years older than me, and explained to them that they had half an hour to do whatever they wanted to me, and if they came back and I was untouched, they'd have to either eat live scorpions or break into the headmaster's house. The younger guy chose to break into the house, but the older dude stayed, and I gave him a blowjob," Vinny blew more smoke. "He fingered me and jerked me off until time was up, then I left. It wasn't until after winter break that he got in contact with me and asked me to blow him again; I told him to pay me, he did, and it became a regular thing, progressing into him fucking me. Then a couple other people started asking me for favors, which I wasn't really all that upset about, until the original dude came back to me at my dorm and told me that he didn't like me being with other people because he had feelings for me," He puffed a couple times, exhaled a cloud. "To which I said I didn't return the favor and only wanted the money, to which he said that I was a piece of shit whore and tried to hit me. Thankfully Joel was there and chased him off, but since he knew where my dorm was, Joel was worried that he'd try something later, so we switched dorm rooms.  
     "Later that month, Joel talked to me about my 'job' and suggested that he be my middle man for my clients, as he called them, so that what happened with that guy wouldn't happen again. And it didn't, until I stopped in May of last year after an HIV scare," Vinny put his cigarette out on the arm of the bench and blew the last of the vapor into the chill air, sighing and flicking the butt away, it landing in the snow.  
     Jack took his hand, playing with his fingers, his voice gentle when he spoke. "Any lastin' effects?"  
     Vinny shrugged. "For a while, I didn't like or do anything sexual. I only got over it a couple months ago, arounnnd October, maybe. I'm still kinda uncomfortable with the idea of being with someone that isn't you,"  
     "T'at's gay,"  
     Vinny shrugged one shoulder and flicked his bangs back with his ring finger, keeping his other hand in Jack's; Jack lifted it to his mouth and kissed it, holding it in both hands with a small grin. "It's okay Vinny, I don't t'ink any less'a ye fer any'a t'at,"  
     "I knew you wouldn't. Thank you, Jack, I..." Vinny laughed nervously. "I've never actually told anyone the whole story before. I'm glad you're the first,"  
     Beaming, Jack flung himself into Vinny's embrace, wrapping his arms around his neck, pressing their lips together in a warm, tender kiss that had Jack's heart quivering behind his ribcage and Vinny balling a bunch of Jack's coat into a fist. It was steamy between them due to their deep breathing, their exhales hanging in the air like smoke from a fireplace, creating a cloud around them that only they could inhabit; each kiss was sensual but simple, hands groping and grabbing but never very far, Jack's body feeling tingly at the sensation, though it could've been from the cold. Who knew. What he _did_ know was that he wanted to get inside and into bed with Vinny so that they could cuddle, and that's what they did, after waiting for Joel and Mark to finish doing their "schoolwork" and leave, reassuring them that yes, he was fine, no, he didn't remember anything, and then waving them goodbye. Once he and Vinny were alone, they held each other in only their boxer briefs, talking and listening to music until the sun went down.

     "Ye said ye made'a lot of money, ri'hte?" Jack asked whilst simultaneously threading his fingers through Vinny's hair.  
     "Yeah, I guess," Vinny answered.  
     "What'd ye do wit' it all?"  
     "Saved it, for the most part. It's in my dresser in the bottom drawer underneath my pants. I haven't counted it in a while, but I'm fairly certain I have around $30,000 saved up,"  
     Jack ogled, sitting up halfway so that he could look at Vinny fully. "What t'e shit? Seriously?"  
     Vinny nodded. "I was going to use it to get a place after I graduated and to pay the bills while I looked for a job. But, after you came into the picture, I thought about getting an apartment for us instead. I kinda," He averted his gaze to instead face the ceiling, "wanted to surprise you,"  
     "Ohh, Vinny, yer too sweet," Jack smooched his cheek, the response from Vinny being a mumbled "Yeah yeah".  
     Upon Jack pulling away and sitting back up straight, Vinny told him in a low tone, "If you know me at all, Jack, you know I've never, ever been the type to make the first move. It's always been the other person coming to me. But, what you probably don't know is that I'm fucking terrified of commitment; the concept, the actuality, the idea, all the likelihoods, all of it, it fucking scares the shit out of me. And if I'm being honest, Jack," He turned his gaze to Jack, his posture of lying slightly elevated against the bed and the wall with a hand behind his head and the left being held by Jack unmoving, "if you hadn't told me you loved me, we wouldn't be dating right now. There's a .3 chance we would be, but most likely not, because I'm scared shitless whenever I'm with you. You terrify me, Jack, with how badly you make me not want to fuck this up. Fuck up _us,_ fuck you up emotionally and mentally, since I care about you so much that it hurts to the point that it's probably not healthy. I don't give a shit, though," The emotion displayed upon his countenance was so sincere and overwhelming that Jack didn't even recognize him with that much expression on his face; regardless, Vinny gently led him into a kiss, a passionate, breathtaking one that had Jack's brain spinning and spine shooting up and down with intense tingles. Their contact was broken momentarily, long enough for Vinny to breathe out, "I love you, Sean McLoughlin, and I'll never leave you, regardless of how loudly my mind screams at me that you won't love me after you've gotten to know me,"  
     Giggling in a pleasant way, Jack shook his head and nuzzled Vinny's neck, smiling into his skin, "T'ere's not'in' I could ever learn aboutcha t'at would make me stop lovin' ye,"  
     "Yeah, probably,"  
     Jack straddled his waist and threaded his fingers with Vinny's, holding their hands above Vinny's head as he kissed him, shifting his hips to press against his crotch; licking at his bottom lip, Jack slipped his tongue into Vinny's mouth, rubbing their tongues together and tasting every inch of each other's mouths, Vinny grunting and holding Jack's bare hip and gripping his hair. What Vinny had said about his hair a couple days ago came to mind and Jack acted on it, grabbing a fistful of Vinny's hair and sharply yanking his hand away from his scalp. Vinny broke from the kiss and groaned, Jack feeling him grow slightly hard against his crotch and panting lightly at the sensation. "I-I want'a suck yer dick," He moaned into Vinny's ear.  
     "Are you sure?" Vinny breathed, his voice slightly shaking.  
     Jack nodded, then kissed down Vinny to the waistband of his underwear, his hands trembling the more skin he revealed, his eyes widening once Vinny was fully naked— his dick was of average length and width, but to Jack it was big, considering that he was five inches shorter than him. He was a little worried about not doing a good job since he's never sucked dick before, but he decided not to worry about that right now and just do it. So he did, taking Vinny into his mouth and suckling softly, swirling his tongue around the top like he'd seen in pornos; Vinny didn't taste that bad honestly, though why he thought he would was beyond him. He sucked hard and pressed his tongue to the tip— Vinny grunted at that, stroking Jack's hair and jerking on it somewhat, mumbling, "Use your teeth,"  
     Jack wasn't sure how to do that, but he didn't want to seem like he was stupid, leading him to graze his teeth across the surface of Vinny's cock, cupping his tongue against the bottom as he did so. The grip on his hair was tightened and Vinny moaned, Jack sensing him buck his hips the slightest bit into him; his nails created crescents in the hairy skin of Vinny's thighs as he dug in them, his eyebrows spooning and dick hard against his boxers— he was incredibly horny, to say the least. But it wasn't about him right now.  
     Bobbing his head and twisting Vinny in his mouth, he pulled back to the tip and played with it with his tongue and teeth, stroking the shaft using three fingers and his thumb, occasionally squeezing his nails into it, which earned him a sharp inhale from Vinny. "God, that feels _really_ good, Jack,"  
     Jack moaned past the dick in his mouth, sending the vibrations into it and biting down hard enough to leave dents— when he pulled back to instead pump his cock, he looked up to Vinny to find his chest heaving, his eyes half-lidded, cheeks and shoulders red, and lips parted. They made eye contact, Jack feeling his face flush as he stared at him while flicking and twirling the tip of his tongue along the slit, trying to maintain his composure past his overwhelming horniness and slight embarrassment, though Vinny didn't appear to notice that part much, as he was too busy groaning and twitching his hips. "Are ye close?" He asked, slipping the cock back through his lips again.  
     "Bite me again," Vinny moaned, "Pull my hair, i-if you can,"  
     Jack did so, and Vinny came in his mouth, pushing his head down onto his dick with a hiss. He did his best to swallow all the cum— wasn't all that gross, surprisingly. Smiling gently, he sat beside Vinny and pecked his lips, wincing a bit when the motion caused friction in his underwear. "You're really good at that," Vinny said in a probably unintentionally husky tone, "Must be a natural,"  
     "Shut up," Jack giggled.  
     Pecking the side of his chin whilst simultaneously slipping a few fingers underneath Jack's waistband, Vinny murmured, "Do you want me to get you off, too?"  
     "Please,"  
     So Vinny did, bobbing his head, licking and twisting, suckling and grazing, doing lewd things with his lips and tongue that Jack didn't know existed but had him whimpering and moaning. "Y-yer mouth is so wet," He whispered.  
     "What, never had a blowjob before?" Vinny replied, momentarily letting go of Jack's cock to speak.  
     "No," Jack curled his toes.  
     "Shit," Vinny huffed, Jack seeing him bite the inner corner of his lip. "I better do a good job, then,"  
     He pressed his tongue tightly to the bottom of Jack's dick and nodded his head quickly, wrapping his pointer finger and thumb around the base of him and twisting them up and down as his head moved, driving Jack to yank on Vinny's hair and buck up into his mouth— Vinny briefly gagged and coughed at that. "S-so-sorry," Jack managed to say.  
     "It's ok," Vinny's voice was hoarse, "I liked it,"  
     Jack felt his dick throb at those words, looking away as he nudged Vinny back onto him, intentionally thrusting his dick into the back of his throat this time, biting his lip when Vinny's throat convulsed around him; he came entirely too quickly from that and was far too loud, crying out and digging his heels into the bed, making the springs creak. "J-Jesus fockin' Christ," He commented in a shaking voice.  
     "Couldn't have been that good," Vinny cleared his throat as he laid down, pulling his underwear back up.  
     Jack fell back next to him and did the same, his heartbeat still rapid and breathing heavier. "It was t'a me,"  
     Vinny hummed. They stared at each other a while, then Vinny rolled over and reached under the bed, Jack sitting up and watching him feel around for something, crossing his legs while doing so. After a few seconds, Vinny rolled back over and sat up against the wall at the head of the bed, setting a guitar case covered in stickers and graffiti in his lap. "I want to play you a song," He announced.  
     Jack bounced in place, beaming and scooting closer to him. "Oh man, I've always wantedta hear ye sing in real life!"  
     Vinny huffed out a laugh, beginning to tune his guitar as he shoved his case away from him with his feet. "Don't get too excited, I sound worse in person,"  
     "Nonsense, ye always sound beautiful,"  
     Vinny rolled his eyes, but smiled anyway, Jack's gut flittering like it always did.  
     After a minute or less of tuning, Vinny strummed out a few chords and began to sing.

      _"If I told you that I loved you_  
      _Tell me, what would you say?_  
      _If I told you that I hated you_  
      _Would you go away?_  
      _Now I need your help with_ everything that I do  
      _I don't want to lie, I've been relying on you_  
      _Fallin' again, I need a pick-me-up_  
      _I've been callin' you "friend, " I need to give it up"_

     Vinny slowed down his strumming momentarily, picking back up again as he kept singing.

      _"I'm sick, and I'm tired too_  
      _I can admit, I am not fireproof_  
      _I feel it burning me_  
      _I feel it burning you_  
      _I hope I don't murder me_  
      _I hope I don't burden you_  
      _If I do, If I do"_

     Essentially smacking his hand against the strings to stop the vibration, Vinny stopped strumming and singing, tossing his guitar into its case at the foot of the bed and settled back into his previous position against the wall, taking a cigarette from the pack on his desk and lighting it. "What'd you think?"  
     Jack couldn't think; he was too overwhelmed, too smitten with everything that Vinny was to even react, beyond a wistful, "Yer so beautiful, Vinny,"  
     Taking a drag of his cigarette, Vinny said, smoke leaving his mouth as he did so, "It's just 'cause you like me,"  
     "I don't like you," Jack responded, watching Vinny tense up. "I love you,"  
     Vinny relaxed and exhaled smoke. Jack couldn't help but feel both happy and melancholy at his reaction. "I'm in love wit' ya, 'n I'll never stop tellin' ya, alrh'ite?"  
     "I suppose,"  
     Scooching closer, Jack nestled beside Vinny and rested his head on his shoulder, throwing an arm around him and sighing pleasantly— Vinny slid his arm around him, as well, holding his forearm. There was comfortable quiet between them for a time, the only sound in the room being the muffled music of another dorm, something Jack couldn't place but recognized as familiar; as Vinny's cigarette began to die, he tapped it off and mumbled, "You know, you have to leave tomorrow,"  
     Jack traced designs in the skin and hair of Vinny's chest, chewing his cheek as he said softly, "I know, but I'll be back in a few mont's,"  
     "How was it, meeting me?"  
     "Ta be dramatic, bein' wit' ye has been better t'an anyt'in' t'at's ever happened ta me, ever,"  
     "You're right, that is dramatic,"  
     Jack tittered, Vinny chuckling along with him. "I guess I'm dramatic, too, because I feel the same way,"  
     "We cen be dramatic toget'er soon enough,"  
     "Yeah,"  
     Jack kissed Vinny's bare shoulder as he put out his cigarette in the ashtray on his desk, simpering at the sensation of him holding his hand and squeezing. "I guess we'll have to wait until then,"


End file.
